while in the hospital, i felt so lousy for the first few days, i didn't
care for visitors. after a few days i really missed my kids. they
had come in to see me but i think i looked so scary, they were
really uncomfortable. boston is the only one who would stand by
me and hold my hand for as long as i wanted. the other kids
would gravitate to the window and they would only stay a short
while.
(please excuse my rambling, i really feel like i need to journal this)
on day 6 i was missing them like crazy. they all came to see me.
christian and my mom were already at the hospital keeping me
company, and then joe and the kids came. we decided to venture
outside with me in the wheelchair........just to feel the heat of that
summer day and to breathe fresh air was enough for me. i was
content to just feel the brightness and warmth. (we were in the
back of the hospital with a beautiful grass lawn, a pasture with
horses and a great view of timp). joe pushed me down the path
while christian pushed my i.v. stand with boston & brighton
standing on the base of it getting a ride! every bump was painful
but it was worth it. at that moment i wished i had a camera....mom
being pushed in the wheelchair by dad, 3 big kids trailing behind,
twins on the i.v. stand being pushed by uncle chris and grandma
pam pointing out the scenery.
we ventured over to the fence to see the horses and then stopped
at the edge of the grass and watched the kids play and do really
bad gymnastics on purpose (wondering if patients were looking
out their windows watching some really uncoordinated kids. it was
funny and it hurt to laugh). i let my feet settle into the grass and
words cannot describe the feeling--i don't want to forget that
feeling.............to feel grass, nature, the earth, was so incredible
(let me remind you i had already been on the couch at home for
3+ weeks so it had been a while since i had felt grass), if i could
have gotten out of my wheelchair and rolled around on the grass,
i would have in a heartbeat. i wanted to lay on the grass and make
angels like kids do in the snow.
just last night i was at sailor's soccer game and i stuck my barefeet
into the grass. i was reminded of this story and i hope that from
now on, whenever i plant my feet into green grass, i will always
be grateful for that day and that experience in the hospital. x0x0